To start with, the feelings of shame & guilt are playing a big role in social relationships, to a degree it can play a useful role : it stops us from commiting crime, makes possible to coexist with others. However the excessive feelings of shame & guilt are a sign of low self esteem and can limit you from achieving your goals. These feelings are very close, and they are often being confused, so lets give a clear definitions of these emotions.

   Shame is a feeling of "wrongness" of oneself ,that something is wrong with personality as a whole.

Guilt , on the other hand, is related to the action, that some commited action is wrong and one deserve punishment. Both feelings create a paralyzing effect in the body , manifesting itself as a high pulse rate, breathing problems, discomforts in the stomach. Shyness is a specific form of excessive shame, self effacing pattern. Some people with these problems have peculiarities to speak less, not to look into eyes, avoid contact, difficulty in being spontaneous (being themselves),fear of taking decisions etc.

    Formation of shame & guilt.

   There could be various reasons of development of these feelings .For example, in a family with authoritative and demanding parents, children can grow up with extreme feelings of guilt and hyper responsibility. In family with hyperprotective parents , children can grow up hesitant and dependant.

Shame and Guilt can also form as a result of Negative Self determination , when in some particular situations you have unconsciously taken a negative "label".

By identifying the repititive patterns in your life you can find the reason and reprogram it to bring feelings of confidence and independence and stop feelings of shame & guilt controlling your life.

   Similarly to anxiety and other emotion , shame & guilt have the same cluster-like formation pattern 

(explained in Origin of fears) . There are various tools for reframing and reprogramming the subconscious material , like simple techniques of NLP reframing, reimprinting and Transact analysis.

For much more rapid reprogramming and finding the root cause, you can use IFS therapy and  hypnoanalytic techniques (see hypnoanalyis and self hypnosis).

Body-oriented therapy is accompanied with these, to decrease the resistance forces and make the subconscious material more accesible. It is also good for increasing the general energy level in the body.
















Extreme Shame & Guilt