Psychology as Technology
for Self Development
Question : I am 28 y.o male, live with parents. I seem to have lost interest in life. I do not enjoy anything anymore. Grow up in a family with authoritative parents, my childhood was boring, my needs were ignored and I was forced to obey their will and just study ... I never had any interests, but from the inside I always knew that this is not normal. Never had any "close friends", only "friends in business" which dissapeared immediately after our ways drifted apart. I tried to change my lifestyle many times, listened to many motivation trainings and done "from Monday I start new life" kind of things, but after some time everything has returned to its previous state. I also have type of "fear of someting new" , cause I always lacked independence . I do not know where to go and what is the mission of my life.
Hello, it is good that you accept and confess that something is wrong . From what you said, it seems your childhood needs were not fulfilled. The unmet needs, when collected in big amounts can lead to depression and loss of life interest. Also, you have mentioned "lack of independence" problem, which is leading to the fear of new things. That explains the situation pretty clearly. In brief: Your Inner child (see Transact analysis) (the part of us by which we get pleasure from this life, responsible for motivation , courage etc) is in disharmony with Iner Parent. By providing the resource of independence to inner child and throwing away the excessive responsbility, your state will start to change. Firstly, I advise you to look up the posts page, to grasp a general idea of how problems arise, then later it will help you to implement self-therapy tools. Then, you can choose any method and start to work on yourself .